I want to know what’s wrong with me.. I guess because it’s the holidays and I’ve had such bad memories come back go haunt me from last year.. Someone explain to me why I’m always passed up.. Am I really not good enough to be with someone? All the people I tend to care about don’t care about me. Am I just a stupid about the men I choose? I’m so fed up with feeling rejected.. I hate this. I hate it so much..
Posts tagged real talk.
Ever argue and bicker and you feel like the argument is leading to NO WHERE? You raise your voice, trying to get your point across but nothing happens. It’s like wasting your breath trying to prove your point but that person just zones you out. The argument just escalates and escalates and…
This this this
I really need to stay focused. I can’t keep being blinded by certain memories. It’s easier if I just focus on all the bad to forget all this bullshit. I have always been weak because I tend to remember all the good times and hope that maybe those times will come back. They won’t. And that’s how I usually end up letting others take advantage of me.
I refuse to do that anymore. I may be unlucky in a certain aspect of my life but I know that I am blessed in all the other ones. I need to remember to be happy. For myself, and for the other people that care about me. My friends are worried about me and are trying so hard to keep me distracted and I love them for it… But I gotta realize that I need to buckle down and really think it through. To actually see people for who they really are. I gotta take the rose-colored glasses off and see the world for how it really is. Not the happy place I want it to be but full of selfish ignorant people.
Why is it that the first kiss is always the sweetest? They’re memorable and can either be a happy memory or a haunting nightmare
Once you stop focusing on someone who isn’t focusing on you and start focusing on yourself, one day you’ll have someone who see things the way you do, because you both took the time to find who you were and what you really wanted and needed..
The sad thing that I realized is that I’d go out of my way to make you happy. Cooking dinner, making breakfast, stopping by your work because you’re not happy.. But you can’t even wake up before 1 to be with me. That a nap is more important than spending time with me.. I see no effort and it’s just a quick flashback of my past and a glimpse at my future if I stick around. Why be with someone that can’t even work for you now? So it can only get worse in the future. No thanks
And I remember it all. I remember what shirts you wore, I remember the first text you sent to me. I remember your laughter, your smell, I remember the exact day of our first kiss. I remember every feeling I felt, I remember all the hopes I had, I remember everything I gave up. I remember how my life changed, I remember the things you said, I remember the first time you whispered those three words. I remember your shy smile, the way you played with my hair, the way you held me so tight I couldn’t breathe but I loved it more than anything else. I remember our first kiss, I remember the way your face looked so close to mine, I remember the way my fingers fit so perfectly into yours. I remember everything about you; your perfect hair and your gorgeous face and the way you could never do anything wrong. But I also remember the last day, the last kiss, the last text. I remember all the tears I cried, I remember feeling worthless, I remember waiting by my phone for a text that never came. I remember the lack of explanation, I remember being shoved away like I never meant anything to you at all. I remember feeling used and broken and like nobody understood, especially not you. I remember wondering how you could know everything about me, how I could give you every single piece of me and still not be enough for you. I remember each thing that made me smile, and each thing that made me cry. I remember thinking about you, dreaming about you, and wishing for you. I remember believing with all my heart that it would happen, expecting forever, and having my forever cut short. I remember drifting away from you, and drifting back to this relationship we like to call a friendship. But you and me, we can never be friends. There’s always been something more in the way we look at each other, and you know it. So here I am, looking at you, feeling all the emotions I’ve always felt when I look at you. I know we can never have back what we had before, but maybe we can start something new. I love you. And I remember. Tell me you remember, too.(via raindropsonredroses)
Just drop it you stupid whore -__-
I’m worried because I know that I like you. A lot.. And I can’t tell people’s true intentions anymore. So I don’t know if yours are pure or not.
I’ve been tricked and played so much that my heart doesn’t have a wall around it, that’s not protection enough. My heart is buried deep inside the earth locked up and hidden from everyone’s eyes.
I’m hoping that you’re not like every single guy that I’ve met. That maybe you actually do care about me. I’ve spent the past 6 days with you, just right by your side and I still miss you when I’m not with you.. What the hell is that? I’ve literally spent less than 12 hours away from you a day and every time I get a text from you asking to see me I can’t help but smile and feel like it could be the real deal.. But I guess only time will tell what’s gonna happen between us..
And I guess I’m okay with that.. I can’t keep forcing myself to be happy. I need to let my heart do it’s own thing rather than forcing it through situations. But I’m gonna admit, feeling like this blows ;(
I’m tired of worrying about being happy. I stress too much about it and at the end of the day that happiness only lasts me for awhile. I’m ready to embrace my depression..
I’m scared to get attached. It’s a valid fear. The way you make me feel, it’s like being on a roller coaster. Actually, it’s a blast from the past. You remind me too much of my past and maybe that’s the reason why my guard is up. I won’t let you past my walls cuz all I see you as right now is a fun time. And if I keep forcing myself to realize that, I won’t get hurt. I won’t get attached if I keep myself in check. I like to spend time with you, and I like us when we’re together. But I do realize that I don’t want to hear from you unless it’s to tell me when we’re hanging out again. I don’t want the soppy affection and having you care about me unless you know forsure that you want to be with me. Which you apparently don’t. So don’t ask me to care unless you’re willing handle my affection and needs. You can’t always have everything you want, you say you want me but you need to prove that to me.